The BunBun Sleepytime Incident
by Lady Arianrhod
Summary: Finally finished! During an Arabian Nights Cosplay by the Host Club, the moe fan girls discover what they feel is a love triangle between three members. Implied HaruMori and imagined HunnyHaruMori.


I am not making a profit from this or anything. So please don't sue.

The Bun-Bun Sleepytime Incident

By Lady Arianrhod

It was another not so normal day for the Host Club.

But really, when was a day with her fellow members ever normal? Haruhi asked herself wryly.

Today, Tamaki had decided that they would dress like characters out of Arabian Nights and woo their customers with a fantasy scene that would send them all swooning.

Tamaki was dressed as a sultan in a vest and loose pants that gathered at the ankle. Kyouya was dressed in a similar outfit but without the jeweled turban since he was a rajah, another word for princeling. Hikaru and Kaoru were dressed as pashas in loose white shirts and the same pants as Kyouya. Mori and Hunny were both guards as they wore the same loose pants but were bare chested as they held a spear in their right hands.

Tamaki was enthroned on a carved chair made from dark cherry wood and Kyouya sat to his left and a little behind on a less ornate version of Tamaki's chair. To Tamaki's right, the twins lounged on a large chaise covered in emerald velvet and adorned with gold tassels. Hikaru leaned against the raised back with Kaoru's head upon the arm and his feet in his brother's lap.

But the jewel of the day was Haruhi. She had been talked into posing as a concubine, the sultan's favorite. She wore an androgynous costume suited to either sex with the loose pants and a sleeveless vest with a sensible scooped neckline. She reclined on a huge daybed heaped high with brightly colored pillows and shrouded on either side by silk curtains that were currently tied back to showcase the scene inside. Hunny and Mori were stationed on either side of her.

In other words, it was a yaoi fangirls dream sequence come to life. Seven sexy bishounen waited here for their customers to sigh and swoon over them. And it was upon this scene that the girls eagerly crowded in to see.

There was a moment of dead silence and frozen bodies. Then the sheer beauty of the scene before them wore off. Then an epic amount of squealing burst forth, setting a new world record for the fans of the Host Club.

Large groups of girls swooped upon their favorite members, each clamoring to get their attention. The size of the one that swarmed Haruhi was larger than the one that imprisoned Kyouya.

"It looks just like a scene out of One Thousand And One Nights." One of the girls managed to say loud enough for her sisters to hear.

This garnered nods and fresh cries of delight. But a few looked confused at this statement.

One finally spoke up timidly. "The stories Queen Scherezade tells to King Shahryar to keep from being killed?"

"No." A sweet looking girl replied. "The yaoi manga."

A third sighed. "Which was still based on the story. A few twists were added, of course."

"Whatever. You're the jewel in the Sultan's crown, dear Haruhi."

"Thank you. I think." Haruhi said blandly. "Anyone care for Turkish Coffee?"

"Sure!" One of her regulars, Amika, smiled at her. "Look, Kaoru is feeding Hikaru sweetmeats,"

Haruhi promptly lost half of her numbers at this announcement. Which made her sigh a little easier in relief. She walked by the twins only to hear one of their regulars ask Kaoru why they hadn't dressed as pleasure slaves. This caused a moment of silence as the girls waited to see what they would say.

"That is because I am a slave to his pleasure only, my dears." Hikaru told them gently.

"Why do you tell them such things?" Kaoru asked in mock anguish. "Things that are meant to be said only to me and only when we're alone."

Their lips were inches apart as they stared into each other's eyes. "Kaoru, I can only speak the truth when talking about the pleasure I feel when you are so close."

Haruhi rolled her eyes at the resulting squeals and distinct thuds as unconscious bodies hit the floor gently for the first time of many today.

Coffee was served to those who wished for it and 'aphrodisiacs' (tropical juice served in fanciful, small glass bottles) were served to those who wished to indulge in a little cosplay. A few of the bolder girls sat on the daybed with Haruhi and asked her to share their 'aphrodisiacs' with them. She shared with a few to make them happy and caused a few to tell their friends they shared an indirect kiss with the effeminate Club member.

"Haru-chan!" A bouncy Hunny climbed up the daybed. Haruhi's designations gladly let the shorter boy sit next to their idol.

"Did you have enough sweets today, Hunny-senpai?" Their kohai asked.

Hunny smiled at Haruhi. "I can never get enough sweets." He assured her with a smile.

The girls all sighed with delight at this announcement. More than a few had fantasies involving Hunny and lollipops or telling a girl that she was his favorite sweet. But just as those cotton candy dreams began they were rudely punctured by the arrival of Mori.

"Takashi! Takashi!" Hunny said excitedly. "Doesn't Haru-chan look cute in her outfit?"

Mori examined Haruhi for a moment. His cheeks were slightly darker as he mumbled "Ah."

Haruhi's cheeks pinked and she caught herself admiring his bare chest.

"Would you like a sweetmeat, Haru-chan?" Hunny held one out for her examination,

Glad for the distraction, Haruhi weighed the option of Hunny's tears versus Hunny's happy attitude. "Just a bite."

Haruhi sampled it and found it too sweet for her taste buds. She thanked Hunny with a smile and he threw his arms around her in utter joy. She found herself staring into Takashi's face as he leaned in close and wiped powdered sugar from the corner of her lips.

The fan girls zeroed in as they saw Mori touch the side of her lips and wipe away the sugar there. They watched with even wider eyes as Hunny grabbed Mori's hand and licked his fingers clean of the powdered sugar. Mori acted as if this was nothing unusual and simply wiped his hands with a napkin. Sudden thumps around the trio indicated that the fan girls had hit a momentary moe overload that fried their circuits.

"Did you have to do that?" Haruhi asked Hunny.

Hunny smiled at the clear exasperation in her tone. "Do what?"

"Never mind." Haruhi groaned.

One of the fan girls regained her composure enough to ask a question. "Fujioka-san, does Hunny ever lick your fingers the way he did to Mori-sempai?"

"If there's frosting or sugar on them." Haruhi responded absently as she wiped Hunny's sticky face.

"Kawaii!" One girl breathed.

Another girl almost knocked over her chair as she stood up excitedly. "You know what this means, don't you?"

"No." Haruhi said blankly as Hunny continued to eat and Mori handed Haruhi a wet napkin to wipe away the stickiness on her hands.

"Three way love triangle!" The girls chorused in unison with hands clasped tightly to their breast.

Hunny stopped munching for a moment and Mori stilled. Tamaki choked and sputtered incoherently. Kyouya's glasses gleamed evilly at this pronouncement and the twins encouraged the fan girls for all they were worth.

Haruhi was the only one who continued on normally. "That's silly." She said calmly. "How on earth would I get involved in something like that."

But the fan girls didn't hear Haruhi's protests. They were speaking too loudly and running over each other's sentences,

"Hunny must have agreed-"

"Mori has always been a sharer-"

"Fujioka-san must love Mori-sempai very much-"

"Sharing has never been a problem between the cousins-"

"…saw Fujioka-san sleeping with Usa-chan in the grove last week-"

"Mori-sempai kissed Fujioka while giving Hunny a piggy back ride!"

"Calm down ladies." Kyouya interjected. "Would any of you like to buy some of our newest photo collages? Never before sold pictures of your favorite Host."

"I want one of each!" Said one.

A second squealed with delight. "Me too!"

"Show us, Kyouya-sempai!" A third latched onto his arm.

And Kyouya led them away while discussing prices and feeding them subtle compliments.

Haruhi fell backwards onto the daybed with a sigh of relief. "Argh."

Hunny put aside his cake and snuggled up to Haruhi. "It'll be okay, Haru-chan."

"I know." Haruhi smothered a yawn. "I'm so sleepy. I knew I shouldn't have stayed up so late studying."

"Take a nap." Mori suggested.

"Only if you lay next to me, Takashi." Haruhi patted the empty space next to her.

Mori lay down next to her and Haruhi cuddled up to his chest and let herself fall asleep. Hunny had already fallen asleep cradling his Usa-chan and eventually Mori succumbed to sleep as well.

Eventually the fan girls came back to say goodbye before the Host Club wound down for the day. They were struck speechless by the sight. Half of the flock fainted from the implications of the scene before them. But eventually they staggered upright and joined their more stalwart sisters in taking pictures or videos on their cell phones.

But the three people they focused on were still deeply asleep. Haruhi had implemented a rather ingenious idea by wearing earplugs before coming to the Host Club. Something Mori and Hunny had taken to doing as well.

When they finally did wake up, it was to be informed by Kyouya that a sizable group of their customers were building an internet shrine dedicated to Hunny, Mori and Haruhi's love triangle.

All Haruhi could do was sigh and mumble her catchphrase. "Damn rich bastards."


End file.
